IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT (Song Lyrics)

water leaves reflections

Chorus
Are you hiding within your heart, dear child
Longing for someone to find you
Does each day find you struggling to find
Your identity that’s lost, forsaken
Stop looking at what you can see
Can see
See staring back at you
Take a deeper dive into the water of life
See yourself in My reflection

See yourself in My reflection
See yourself
Yourself, free
See yourself in My reflection
Instead of you
You’ll see Me

Guilt plays a ruthless, endless game
Places all the blame upon you
But I’m here to say, My dear child
It’s not your fault, you’re not at fault
And I’ve provided the remedy

Shame is the bondage of your past
And pain wraps its arms around it
But I’m here to say, My dear child
It’s not your fault, you’re not at fault
And I’ve provided the remedy

Chorus
Are you hiding within your heart, dear child
Longing for someone to find you
Does each day find you struggling to find
Your identity that’s lost, forsaken
Stop looking at what you can see
Can see
See staring back at you
Take a deeper dive into the water of life
See yourself in My reflection

See yourself in My reflection
See yourself
Yourself, free
See yourself in My reflection
Instead of you
You’ll see Me

Sickness entwines, steals your freedom
Fear covers with clouds of despair
But I’m here to say, My dear child
It’s not your fault, you’re not at fault
And I’ve provided the remedy

Hopelessness sings confusing lies
Loneliness speaks to the hurting
But I’m here to say, My dear child
It’s not your fault, you’re not at fault
And I’ve provided the remedy

Chorus
Are you hiding within your heart, dear child
Longing for someone to find you
Does each day find you struggling to find
Your identity that’s lost, forsaken
Stop looking at what you can see
Can see
See staring back at you
Take a deeper dive into the water of life
See yourself in My reflection

See yourself in My reflection
See yourself
Yourself, free
See yourself in My reflection
Instead of you
You’ll see Me

© 2021 Liana Wendy Howarth

Never Give Up

Today is the anniversary of my mother’s death. I felt to share this again and maybe encourage if but one …

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Eight years ago, my beautiful mother passed away. Six years ago, my wonderful brother passed away. She was eighty, he was forty-eight. She had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, he had Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. Neither knew the Lord when diagnosed. So I say never give up.

So many times during the course of mother’s illness, we would talk about my precious Lord. Her beliefs were scattered though and she loved anything to do with Tibet. Whenever we discussed anything to do with the Bible, she somehow managed to skirt around the topic and the subject was closed. This always happened. She was looking for something and would try anything and listen to anyone about everything. Yes, it’s important to listen to others; but not at the expense of one’s eternal life. Everything seemed like a joke. She would go to church; but was forever questioning, sometimes in the middle of a service (makes me smile now; but quite embarrassing at times).

Her illness stayed in remission for about five years. It returned. In the final couple of weeks, the questions continued. I played beautiful Christian music for her when she could no longer get out of bed. I had the Bible in audio form and jamming the repeat button, played the Psalms for her, just on low; but high enough for her too drink in God’s promises.

My Pastor’s mother visited and the questions, yes they kept coming. Still she was undecided. We showed her a plaque with “My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus”. Still she questioned. Oh! The questions. The Name of Jesus was highlighted for her in the Scripture verse. No other god, image, idol.

Suddenly the Light began to enter her understanding and I believe it was then, only a few short weeks before she died, that she finally began to stop fighting and accept and be loved by Jesus. He had opened her eyes. She questioned again, but she had changed. God’s love shone through her. She had us throw out a statue on her windowsill. A peace settled on her. On us.

Hospital then the nursing home awaited. Psalm 23 played on and on and on. It was also above her head on a beautifully carved, wooden wall hanging. The Shepherd Psalm filled her very being. She couldn’t escape it.

The day she passed was so sad and yet so peaceful. With her last breaths few and far between, (by now my Father and I believed she had gone), I whispered into her ear that Jesus loved her and so did we. All of a sudden she breathed a great breath. It was such a shock that I jumped back and her bed moved, which was a further shock as I didn’t realize that the brakes weren’t on. Such a beautifully painful death. Yet I witnessed her spirit leave. I sensed it. I sensed her life depart.

Praise God, she is with Him. All of those years causing friction, sadness, questioning, frustrations all accumulated into one glorious ending. Underneath are the Everlasting Arms.

So never give up. There is always hope. In every breath, there is hope.

My brother endured months of horrendous treatment and was in ICU for many weeks with only about eight months from diagnosis to final hour. He didn’t believe in God either and conversations between us became somewhat heated at times. Sadness prevailed.

In hospital I would try and once again bring Jesus into the discussions. Not interested. I would pray silently by his bedside when we were the only ones in his room.

Then came the call. I asked his wife to place the phone to his ear. She said he wouldn’t hear me. I spoke lovingly to him of the Lord and prayed desperately for him. All I could hear was laboured breathing. Finishing just as she came back onto the line, I praise God that I was able to witness to him, one last time.

He died. I left him with God. I just didn’t know.

But I never gave up. Nothing is impossible with God.

Lost Amidst the Bubbles

bubbles water fountain

Are you fighting a losing battle
Arms are flailing
No answer in sight
Seeing life in different spaces
Floating aimlessly about
Trying to reach
And gain a foothold
But the current is too strong
People smile and keep on walking
Never knowing
That you’re trapped inside
The morning comes
The morning goes
And soon it is evening
You know you’re alive
’Cause you’re still breathing
But somehow as you silently
Try and find your way
Amidst the darkness
Little bubbles of reality
Float teasingly out of reach
Ah! In a bubble within
The sea of bubbles
Containing loved ones
Friends, passersby
You can see they’re talking
And moving through their day
Smiling, laughing, not a care
But every now and then
You’ll see a familiar face
One that’s filling their own bubble
With a myriad of tears
So you draw alongside
And travel close to them
Through the wonders of life unknown
Comforting in compassion
Taking one another’s hand
Two bubbles now with hope
Allowing you to finally sing

© 2015 Liana Wendy Howarth

SOMETIMES BLOGGING HURTS …

SOMETIMES BLOGGING HURTS ...

This is not a self-pity post.

Just laying my heart out for the rays of the Son to heal.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that sometimes blogging can grieve, maybe that’s too hard a word, sadden maybe, one’s heart?

The Lord has blessed me with a super sensitive heart.

I shed a tear … sometimes just looking a flower … the exquisitiveness of it … doesn’t take much to open the floodgate. You get the picture.

Anyway, what I have trouble dealing with is this …

Through blogging, some absolute beautiful friendships are formed over the years.

And then … suddenly … correspondence stops.

Does this happen to anyone else?

One (yes, me!) then starts the never ending roundabout of questions … have I said something to hurt them, have I offended them, or are they just too busy for little ole me!

I know that life has burdens. People get sick. Trials happen.

And some things are meant only for a season.

And because of the amazing distance one’s words can reach online, of course it is impossible to keep in touch with absolutely everyone.

I just find it upsetting.

I have lost contact with quite a few special brothers and sisters in Christ and it’s marred my heart.

I pray that those to whom I am referring are safe. Are well. Are trusting daily for the blessings in His grace.

I miss you.

There … I’ve said it … Lord help me to let go and await the wonders you have in store for me.

Lost Prayer

Lost PrayerWhen prayer has gone amissing
And you don’t know what to say
When circumstances threaten
To block or mar your way
It may be that you are unwell
It may be that you’ve wandered
It may be influence from many others
Or it may be that your voice has floundered
Words they seem to have disappeared
And lost their way from a confused heart
You know you want to talk to Father
But finding them is tearing you apart
You know He’s there and waiting
Waiting for your pitiful cry
Waiting to place His arms around you
But the silence has you wondering why
Oh! Lord Jesus please break the chains
From off this quivering thought
And release my heart’s desire to see You
Release me Lord into Your presence
… so this dry prayer
Will flourish as the springtime
Fragrance lifted to You on high
Fragrance lifted, others gifted
And prayer released … so this urgency is never for nought

© 2013 Liana Wendy Howarth

The Fragrance of Healing

May the Lord’s blessings and answers to heart-wrenching prayers fall as precious fragrance upon those shedding

tears of pain

tears of sickness

tears of abandonment

tears of hurt

tears of frustration

tears of torment

tears of hopelessness

tears of loneliness

tears of homelessness

tears of shame

tears of lost love

and may that beautiful fragrance turn them from your tears of

pain into freedom

sickness into vitality

abandonment into company

hurt into love

frustration into peace

torment into release

hopelessness into hope

loneliness into comfort

homelessness into safe shelter

shame into forgiveness

lost love into fresh roses

_ _ _ _ _ _ _       _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Excerpt from ‘Hope’ in “Fragrance from the Spring”

‘Life may seem forever hurting,

Tears they flow as if no end,

But they’re counted, tearfully cherished,

In His bottle.  He will mend.’

Suffering; but Renewed

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Ever stop to think that the reason we are placed in what we think are difficult situations, is that we are spared what is happening should we have stayed in the heat of a matter?

Like a pot plant that is taken out of the intense noonday heat and placed lovingly in the shade.

To be renewed and refreshed in the coolness and stillness, out of the draining heat.

We too, go through trials lovingly allowed in order to be renewed and refreshed.

Tears last longer and are powerful in a trial.

Healing.

Sometimes what becomes of us, the forced rest, a change in direction – any change in us in the heat of the furnace during our sufferings, is actually the remedy for a need that maybe we didn’t even know existed.

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And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose.’

Romans 8:28 KJV

I Wait and Wait … and Wait

Waiting for an Answer

I wait.

For an answer.

To prayer.

The path before me divides.

Which path to take?

I have lifted the need in prayer.

I could go forward.

But I will sit.

And wait.

And trust.

A door will be opened.

In His time.

In His time only.

Just trust.

So I wait.

But Lord ….

I need the answer now.

I don’t have the time to wait.

Something has to be done now!

But still I sit.

And wait.

And wait.

Then one day  ….

A different solution arrives.

It’s easier.

It answers my problem.

And I didn’t have to do a thing.

Just trust.

And wait.

And not take the problem out of His hands.

It’s done!

All I did was wait.

And watch.

And believe.

And wait.

An answer always comes.

And its always the best for me.

Because He loves me.

And I love Him.

********

From “Fragrance from the Spring”

WAITING

“Wait on the Lord

Again I say wait.

In Christ, we find patience

To wait on the Lord

 

Onward Christian soldier

Nearer to Him we be

 

Tell the brokenhearted

He died for you and me

Ever faithful, everlasting

 

Lord, in Your radiance we live

On Your promises we believe

Render to each a measure of faith

Dearly beloved, a treasure to Thee”

 

A Golden Heart

18th Jan, 2013 058

There is the potential for a heart of gold in each of us.

It’s deep within some ….. waiting ….. waiting ….. as it waits for renewal.

In others it’s full of visible beauty.

And as each act of kindness is given, love is scattered.

Love is shared.

Gold needs a furnace to be made perfect.

In order to be compassionate, one has usually suffered.

Suffered the same or similar to the one to whom compassion is given.

Only someone going through this trial can truly comprehend where help is needed.

Be it understanding.

Wisdom.

A meal.

A smile.

A home.

A bed.

Food.

Water.

A hug.

Love.

Trustworthy advice.

Trust.

Loyalty.

Friendship.

Non-judgmental support.

To be silent.  To just be there.

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From “Fragrance from the Spring”

And Just Because

“And just because I have your friendship

And just because I know you care

I pray the Lord, dear friends to send you

Who’ll listen, love and sweetly share

***

And just because you’re always there

And just because your smile’s for Him

I pray the Lord, new strength to send you

Because I know you’re feeling weak, eyes dim

***

And just because of your love for others

And just because of concern for all things right

I pray the Lord, comfort throughout the hours

When you’re needing fresh ‘songs in the night’

***

And just because I know you need help

And just because I know you’re struggling

I pray the Lord, our dear precious Lord

To send a bouquet of His most fragrant Scriptures

A present from our Almighty King”

***

Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.’

2 Corinthians 1:4 KJV