Posted in Christianity, Loss, Love, The Beauty of Creation

I AM NOT A BLOB

Not sure why; but feel led to post this again … if but one life be spared.

ultrasound and belly

You didn’t know I was inside
So tiny at first, unseen
Then small changes started happening
And you’d never again be how you’d been

One minute you’d cry, then you’d laugh
Strange things, now so inviting
Beautiful glows appeared on your face
Sometimes the waves would keep you from eating

Please let me tell you a story
My little heart formed quickly
And within the space of a moment
I was becoming somebody, yes, me

And there are many dreams ahead
I’m more precious than a pearl
I love to twirl in this warm, dark lake
You don’t know yet, if I’m a boy, or girl

Every day I hear your heartbeat
Love compounding with each breath
Oh dear Mama, I feel so cherished
Oh dear Papa, you’ve given life, not death

I hear each word of spoken love
I feel so safe, and secure
With each passing day of my new growth
Your gentle lullabies, they reassure

Then one day, everything, it changed
Your tears no longer cried love
Voices vibrated longer, louder
I heard you didn’t want me, no more love

My heart started beating faster
There was nothing I could do
Can’t you see, feel I’m nearly ready
To be placed in your arms, so close to you

Please, please, can someone please help me
My lungs, ready for breathing
And ready to cry with thankfulness
I’m a perfectly formed human being

Mama, you said that you loved me
Your heart was no longer grey
That you’d always wanted a baby
No, don’t do that, take that needle away

I hurt so much Mama, why, why
This pain is unbearable
I no longer want to stay; but leave
The depth of pain is indescribable

I’m going to take my last breath now
And even though I suffered
I will be at peace; but not with you
I pray that forgiveness will be received

I forgive you Mama
I forgive you Papa
And when, through the years
You remember
And through the tears
You’ll shed
Please tell your family and friends
I was never, ever a blob

© 2019 – present Liana Wendy Howarth

Author:

Personalized poems now available … See link at top of page. Author of inspirational and children's poetry, Christian song lyrics, e-book "Fragrance from the Spring", "Sunrays and Lily Smiles and my latest release "When A Child Sings" (Aug 2016) www.poetrycottage.wordpress.com.

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