The Lord weighed upon my heart to write this down in what I thought to be story form; but once again the poet in me prevailed … I pray that I am posting this at His perfect time as I am not sure if this was for now or later. I leave it in His hands.


This was meant to be a testimony
For the Lord would have me write it down
I believe He wanted me to treasure
What life was like before I received healing’s crown

Three months till I am able
To wear this precious gift
And in the meantime He’s going to strengthen
Me, and continue through affliction, sift

He wants me to share with you
And bring hope to those who are struggling
The symptoms that weighed so heavily
Brought me so low and often unable to sing

There have been times when I could barely function
And yet the day continued as always
Oblivious of what I was suffering
I literally dragged my feet as I fought to gaze

The intensity of overwhelming feelings
Dizziness, faintness, super cell storm in foggy head
Ringing constantly between my thoughts
My life on hold and having to do anything, I’d dread

Unable to work, unable to drive ‘normally’
Unable to sew, unable to go out spontaneously
Unable to function to even clean the house clean
Unable to run my fingers melodiously across piano keys

Affected by heights, so steps and escalators out
Needing a trolley to shop properly
Wanting to go home each time I had to go out
Always needing someone to be with me

A barrage of tests, tests, tests
And then there were more to be done
And no matter the quality of foods, supplements consumed
I never felt as though I had truly won

Battling hashimotos with antibodies times a hundred
Of what they were meant to be
Iron deficiency anaemia, with levels barely above lowest range
And chronic fatigue, so chronic … these tortured me

And then just when I thought I was managing
A couple of mean viruses came back with a blast
And pain was mixed with utter hopelessness
Bringing with them so many tears and emotions from the past

But praise be to God, because through it all
He had taken control, led me through
In the barrenness and loneliness of valley
Taken me to mountaintops seeking skies of blue

And blessed me with bouquets of roses
Lilies and a dear family
And even though most of the time they were oblivious
I only let them into a small part of what they could see

Because no one, no, no one can truly know
The pain of an illness, two or three
I cannot infiltrate my symptoms before another
And no one else can understand what it means to me

But I can share this with my reader
Please know that deliverance, it draws nearer
Each day as you step further into the depths of despair
Through illness … in Him, your weakness grows stronger

© 2014 Liana Wendy Howarth

13 thoughts on “MY TESTIMONY

  1. Thank you for sharing your testimony just the way He wanted you to. You are very precious in His sight (and ours!) and I know that your testimony is going to touch others in pain and encourage them.


    • Debbie, I felt in my heart that this was for those who are on the verge of giving up due to chronic illness … that which affects them each and every day … every day a struggle … always brings to memory that scripture where the author wishes at nighttime it were morning, at morning he wished for the night … but the Lord always steps in the perfect time and sensing His awesome presence always brings a peace to that particular struggle and it doesn’t seem half as bad any more because the afflicted one’s mind is on Christ. For the unsaved, maybe I pray, this will bring them to a realization that there is hope. There is an answer to being able to persevere and that answer is, and will always be … Jesus.


  2. What a beautiful testimony, Liana, one I can totally relate to. Out of your suffering God has given you this amazing ministry of encouraging others through the beautiful poetry He gives you. You cannot know this side of eternity how many lives God has spoken to, turned around, & even saved, through your beautiful gifts. Had you never been broken~is it likely that you would have been able to write any of these kinds of poems or identify with the brokenhearted & suffering in this world?
    God so trusted you with the gift of pain that He honored you with this beautiful gift.
    You are HIS precious gift to many suffering, lonely souls who hear His voice of comfort & encouragement in your work. ❤️
    I thank The Lord for you! You are His masterpiece!! May God open new ministry doors for you and your work to bless and inspire multitudes for His glory and honor, IJN🙏


    • Thank you so much dear friend … I think the hardest thing is ‘feeling that I am not in control’ especially when symptoms are in hyper mode; but then again I’m not in control, am I!


  3. Wonderful post. The pains you have endured when there was no one to care deepens you to touch others with the Reality that breathes comfort and life. Few flowers there are where the beauty of their aroma is shared through bruising. The Son of God was bruised for you and I and oftentimes we share in His sufferings to bring others life. God bless you Liana and use you profoundly to touch other souls in great need.

    Liked by 1 person

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