(For quite a long time now I have had ‘a silent fear’ about whether or not I had the same as my dear mother, brother or aunt because of my extreme longstanding tiredness and other symptoms – but praise God I am in the clear, the results came in this morning and even though I know that the Lord has not given me the spirit of fear; but of power, love and a sound mind 2 Timothy 1:7, there was always this ‘doubt’ (being an ex-nurse doesn’t help). I don’t think I realized until now the intensity of watching a loved one suffer and lose their battle, or rather I did know; but even in all the pain I felt, it was suppressed and the thought that the same journey may lie ahead for me, well without the Lord’s strength, love and grace through His mercy …..
Praying for anyone reading this who has just received devastating results, or is still waiting for results. May you be blessed with love, strength and peace from the Lord’s open hands.)
Wires of worry and wires of doubt
And once again the silence flows
Can this heart harbour so much pain?
A glance, a memory, a tune – only it knows!
Brings the fear undone again
It washes in with tides of thought
Thoughts of do I, don’t I, or do I
Have to live with dreams of nought
For how can dreams survive a battle
Waging with suppressed free joy
When a fear is left unattended
Left to scar and with each breath destroy
But this story has a breakthrough
Dreams will surface and be fulfilled
Fear is now gone and fear not needed
As the truth, the Truth is anew instilled
© 2013 Liana Wendy Howarth