I Have to Say Goodbye to My Daddy Today

I have to say goodbye to my Daddy today
He leaves on the night-time train
Yes, I’m all grown up and yet
It still causes deep anguish and pain

Does this pre-emptiness also touch his heart
As child tears like an abandoned river flow?
‘Tis early morning and the sun is hidden
And as my writing stalls … he’s preparing to go

He’s shared our lives for two blessed years
And how blessed they seem only now
Oh! How life is taken so shamefully, sadly for granted
As each tick of the clock to time bows

Five summers, four winters, four autumns, five springs
Ago; my mother, his wife, she did die
Three summers, two winters, two autumns, two springs
Ago; his son, my brother … to him we also had to say goodbye

And so, in painfulness/numbness, I try
To absorb what is truly happening
For in a few short hours, as the precious moments fleet past
At the railway station, lives will separate with departing

That’s it … my childhood family will be no more
With me in this great heartland
The vastness of ocean will separate us
My tears lessen the depth of sand

For as the droplets of deep, deep sorrow
Fall, and will fall enveloping each breath
My childhood sense of security
Once again is broken as in death

The death of a loved one as only you can love
So in love with, that eternity lights it with gold
I know I am mourning; but life, it wills on
‘Tis but another story endless waves will carry as of old

But today is today, it will go away
And I praise God, the Lord’s mercies are new
I don’t know what His mercies will lovingly bring this day
I love Him so dearly … another memory captured through and through

I thank you dear Daddy, I thank you dear Father
Two wonders the Lord has gifted to my life
But still as my earthly love of father crosses distant lands
The thought of separation cuts my heart like a knife

… the clock, it steams forward
And I cannot stop it. Swallowing time, it marches forth
‘Twill soon be that bittersweet moment – say goodbye
A few smiles, bear hugs … for all love’s worth
– – – – – – –
As many read this, the train will have long gone
And my Daddy will be on his way
Back to his beloved earthly homeland
Where his longing thoughts did forever stray

My Dad, he needed to go back … go back
To his ‘childhood’ memories – England
Needed to feel the distant soil once more
Under his restless, battle-torn feet again

I feel like I’ve lost him; but I know it has pained him
Watching others living out his life’s dreams
Yes, it’s so hard to let go, when heart strings do tug so
And childhood presents of mind past, drift away with the streams

– – – – – – –

Praying for all who have lost loved ones
All who are losing loved ones
All who have had dreams shattered
All who need hope
Love, understanding, love.
– – –
Psalm 23
‘The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
Thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.’ KJV
– – –
1 Corinthians 13:7 Love
‘Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.’ KJV
– – –
Hebrews 13:5
‘… and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.’ KJV
– – –
Heavenly Father,
These last few hours I spend with Dad,
Be glorified Lord,
Hold our hearts in Your hands,
Catch our tears,
Hug us and never let us go,
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

8 thoughts on “I Have to Say Goodbye to My Daddy Today”

  1. How are you coping thesedays without your Dad? It takes so long to adjust to letting go doesn’t it? I remember vividly, the day my brother walked out the door to start life in a different part of Australia for his first full-time job. He never came back permanently – only for short visits once or twice a year. My heart broke and a piece of it never returned.

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      1. I’m so glad he came back and that you have these precious last years of his life to spend with him. Looking forward to reading the post when I wind down for the evening. God bless! xo

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    1. Thank you so much Teresa. It was so painful watching the train pull out of the station. He stood in the carriage door and hugged me like he didn’t want to let go. So sad. I will miss him dearly; but am so thankful for the time we shared together.

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    1. Thank you Heidi, that means so much to me. I pray also that this post will help and offer comfort to someone else going through similar circumstances. There are so many tears of hurt and utter despair being shed. Mine are having a break right now … until later!

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